February 11, 2010

What if?

by Chris Feeney

What if you got stuck with the dead donkey? While I have numerous punch lines floating around in my head related to the current political party in power in our nation, the moral of this story really has to do with a deceased pack animal.

A friend recently forwarded me an e-mail that offered this analogy:

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, Sorry Chuck, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.

Chuck replied, Well then, just give me my money back.

The farmer said, Cant do that. I went and spent it already.

Chuck said, OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.

The farmer asked, What ya gonna do with a dead donkey?

Chuck said, Im going to raffle him off.

The farmer said, You cant raffle off a dead donkey!

Chuck said, Sure I can. Watch me. I just wont tell anybody hes dead.

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, What happened with that dead donkey?

Chuck said, I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.

The farmer said, Didnt anyone complain?

Chuck said, Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.

The punch line to this joke was that Chuck now works for AIG. Id like to alter that a bit and suggest he should run for public office because right now we are all being handed some road kill with no chance for a refund. Our government gobbles up our taxes, promising a chance to win a new steed. They arent even as nice as old Chuck was, because they dont even bother trying to rectify the theft from the would-be winner, instead simply pointing fingers across the aisle saying it was the opposing partys fault you didnt get your donkey or your refund, so dont elect them again.

As the printing presses spit out freshly minted money as fast as their gears will spin, wont we soon reach the point when all our greenbacks will represent is worthless raffle tickets for the right to own a dead donkey?

Are we really that far away from this scenario? We are already relying on voluntary taxation in the form of the various lottery systems, to help fund our education programs.

How long before we start doing the same thing for our roads? Everyone put in $100 bucks for the MoDOT pool and the lucky winner will get their road bladed.

Im worried that national healthcare will also resemble this scenario. Except everyone is going to be forced to buy tickets for that mule they pray they will never have to ride.

Then again, I guess the raffle winner was probably lucky that the old donkey had kicked the bucket. Sounds just like the government to sell you a $2 ticket to win a donkey, and then fine you $200 because they fed that donkey poorly and now he is a bit gassy, resulting in some environmental issues.

I guess we that live in glass houses shouldnt cast stones. I dont consider myself a politician but I do serve on the city council, and utility rates for the City of Memphis, for which I am accountable for, have generated some public outcry.

I dont follow Facebook, but it looks like there is a grassroots movement afoot to gather in mass at the March City Council meeting to sound grievances about high electric rates.

I dont blame people for being frustrated, I just hope they bring ideas on how to address the concerns instead of simply venting to their four elected representatives (who by the way pay the same electric rates and do work very hard to try to find ways to make this community a better place to live).

Otherwise well just be flogging a dead horse, and then well all have to get in line to buy our raffle tickets.

Health Department Warns Use of Synthetic Cannabinoids Linked to Severe Bleeding

Scotland County Health Department Administrator Margaret Curry is sharing the news on the dangers of synthetic cannabinoids following a recent national health report. The Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued a Clinician Outreach message to health care providers related to the use of synthetic cannabinoids with street names such as synthetic marijuana, fake weed, K2 and spice.

According to the message, 94 people in five states who used synthetic cannabinoids have been treated since March 10, 2018, for bleeding due to coagulopathy, a blood clotting disorder. The number of cases reported in the message include: 89 in Illinois, two in Indiana, one in Maryland, one in Missouri and one in Wisconsin.  There were two fatalities in Illinois.

Laboratory testing confirmed that at least 18 individuals had been exposed to brodifacoum, a highly lethal vitamin K antagonist anticoagulant. It is used in commercial products for killing rodents and other pests. Some synthetic cannabinoid product samples related to the outbreak also tested positive for brodifacoum. Public health investigation indicates that synthetic cannabinoids were likely contaminated with brodifacoum.

Synthetic cannabinoids are classified as a controlled substance and their possession can lead to misdemeanor or felony charges depending on the amount possessed.

The Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services (DHSS) is asking healthcare providers to maintain a high index of suspicion for vitamin K–dependent antagonist coagulopathy in patients presenting with clinical signs of coagulopathy, bleeding unrelated to an injury, or bleeding without another explanation and with a possible history of use of synthetic cannabinoids.

Similar communications regarding drug induced severe coagulopathy have been issued by the Missouri Poison Center and the Illinois Department of Public Health.

Those who may be suffering from adverse effects from the use of synthetic cannabinoids should seek medical care immediately. Health care professionals should report suspected cases to the Missouri Poison Control Center by calling 800-222-1222.

Missouri Farm Bureau Insurance Teams up with Feeding Missouri to Knock Hunger Out of the Park for Missourians

With 947,900 Missourians labeled as “food insecure” according to the Map the Meal Gap 2015 study, Missouri Farm Bureau Insurance recognizes the need to obtain and distribute food to hungry families across the state. For the third consecutive year, insurance agents are accepting donations from April 16, 2018 to May 11, 2018 at their local offices to be distributed to one of the over 1,500 Feeding Missouri agencies located in their communities.

While most non-perishable donations are appreciated, there are some types of food items that allow local pantries to best meet the needs of the communities they serve.  These items include: canned tuna or chicken, boxed or bagged pasta, canned soup or chili, boxed crackers, peanut butter, fruit snacks and instant mashed potatoes. Monetary donations are encouraged as well. All checks collected stay in the region and are reserved specifically for children experiencing food insecurity in their homes. According the Map the Meal Gap 2015 study, 258,610 Missouri children are experiencing food insecurity.

In the final weeks of May, each Missouri Farm Bureau Insurance office will take the donations to a local pantry to be weighed. A statewide grand total of donations in pounds will be announced along with the total monetary donations. Last year’s efforts garnered nearly 10 tons of food and $4,000 for child food programs.

Please drop off non-perishable food donations or checks made payable to the Central Missouri Food Bank between April 16, 2018 and May 11, 2018 at 388 S. Clay St., in Memphis MO  63555, the office of Missouri Farm Bureau Insurance Agent Greg Shelley.

Scotland County Senior Nutrition Center

MENU

Thursday, April 19 – Tenderloin/Bun, Onions, Scalloped Potatoes, Pea Salad, Pineapple, Brownies

Friday, April 20 – Roast Beef, Mashed Potatoes/Gravy, Green Beans, Carrot-Pineapple Cake

Monday, April 23 – Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, Mashed Potatoes, Buttered Carrots, Applesauce

Tuesday, April 24 – Lasagna/Meat Sauce, Lettuce Salad, Hominy, Garlic Bread, Peaches

Wednesday, April 25 –Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes/Gravy, Green Beans, Hot Roll, Fruit Salad

Thursday, April 26 – Roast Pork, Mashed Potatoes/Gravy, Sauerkraut, Cranberry Sauce, Bread, Cookie

ACTIVITIES

Thursday, April 19 – Blood Pressure Checks Here Today.  Card Party at 5:00 p.m.

Monday, April 23 – AAA and Care Meeting in Shelbina at 10:00 a.m.

Tuesday, April 24 – Moving on Group meeting here at 1:30 p.m.

Thursday, April 26 – Card party at 5:00 p.m.

SCR-I Elementary School Menus

Breakfast

Thursday, April 19 – Breakfast Burrito, Choice of Cereal, Toast/Jelly, Orange Wedge/Grapes, Juice/Milk

Friday, April 20 – Sausage/Gravy, Biscuits, Choice of Cereal, Blueberry Muffin, Banana, Juice/Milk

Monday, April 23 – Pancakes, Choice of Cereal, Sausage Link, Toast/Jelly, Strawberries, Juice/Milk

Tuesday, April 24 – Mini Breakfast Bites, Choice of Cereal, Cinnamon Biscuit, Grapes, Juice/Milk

Wednesday, April 25 – Bacon/Egg/Cheese Sandwich, Choice of Cereal, Toast/Jelly, Orange Half, Juice/Milk

Thursday, April 26 – Breakfast Burrito, Choice of Cereal, Toast/Jelly, Orange Wedge/Grapes, Juice/Milk

Lunch

Thursday, April 19 – Pizza Roll-Ups, Chicken Fajitas, Hamburger Bar, Potato Rounds, Green Beans, Sliced Peaches, Fresh Fruit

Friday, April 20 – Tuna Noodle Casserole, Grilled Chicken Patty/Bun, Oven Ready Fries, Peas/Carrots, Ice Cream, Strawberries, Fresh Fruit

Monday, April 23 – Popcorn Chicken, Mini Corn Dogs, 5th/6th Grade Chef Salad, Tri Potato Patty, Mixed Vegetables, Mandarin Orange Slices, Fresh Fruit

Tuesday, April 24 – Sloppy Joe/Bun, Chicken Alfredo, 5th/6th Grade Taco Bar, Onion Rings, Buttered Corn, Chocolate Chip Cookie, Applesauce, Fresh Fruit

Wednesday, April 25 – Meatloaf, Sliced Ham, 5th/6th Grade Potato Bar, Scalloped Potatoes, Creamed Peas, Dinner Roll, Mandarin Orange Slices, Fresh Fruit

Thursday, April 26 – Goulash, Chicken Stir Fry, Hamburger Bar, Green Beans, Garlic Bread, Fruit Cocktail, Fresh Fruit

Rutledge Cafe Offers Class on Growing Shitake Mushrooms

Shitake mushrooms growing from an oak log. Photo by Stephen Hight, USDA

by Alline Anderson, Rutledge, Missouri

When I first moved to Northeast Missouri I was vaguely aware of mushrooms – I liked them well enough on my pizza. But hunting for wild mushrooms, and eating them, seemed like something that only crazy people in the Pacific Northwest did. How did they not die an excruciatingly painful death from poison mushrooms? Newly arrived in Rutledge, my local friends began talking excitedly about morel mushrooms. Right here on our own land! What?

As spring approached we watched the temperature for warm days and nights above 40°. Soon we went out on the land, looking in sandy creek bottoms, around dead or dying elm trees, on sunny south and west slopes. And amazingly, there they were. Dozens of wild morel mushrooms, just waiting to be harvested.

Unfortunately, I soon found that I am the world’s worst morel mushroom hunter. In my morel hunting career I’ve found two. That’s two mushrooms, not two dozen, or two bags-full. And one of them I lost on the way home.

So I was absolutely delighted to learn that I could grow my own mushrooms. Shitake mushrooms are not only incredibly delicious they are beautifully suited to be grown in dappled shade in one’s own yard. I found I could create my own mushroom farm – the process is fairly simple. By drilling holes in freshly cut oak logs (of a specific length and circumference), placing mushroom spawn in the holes, and sealing the holes with wax, I could create the ideal growing conditions. The logs are then placed in shady areas that receive a bit of sun and circulating air, and after a few months of rain and sun and shade, dozens of mushrooms pop up out of the logs, ready to be harvested and sauteed with a little garlic, butter and white wine.

Mushroom logs produce twice a year for three to four years. After the initial inoculation, the logs pretty much take care of themselves. After harvesting the shitake mushrooms one can use them fresh or easily dry them for future use.

The Milkweed Mercantile at Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage is really excited to be able to share this food resource with our local community. We’re presenting a Shitake Mushroom Log Workshop on Saturday, April 28, 2018, 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. With skilled assistance, each workshop participant will prepare and then take home 6-8 shitake mushroom-producing logs. Cost is $120 per person and includes all materials (already-cut logs, mushroom spawn, and needed tools), expert instruction, care directions, and a delicious mushroom-filled lunch. For more information or to register please go to milkweedmercantile.com/mushrooms or call 660-883-5522.

JOSEPH FREDRICK COLLIS (8/4/1939 – 4/13/ 2018)

Joseph Fredrick Collis, 78 of Kennett, Missouri formerly of Queen City, Missouri passed away at his home on Friday, April 13, 2018.

The son of Troy Emmett and Hazel Lee (McCartney) Collis, he was born on August 4, 1939 in rural Queen City, Missouri.  On December 3, 1971 in Queen City, Missouri, he was united in marriage to Sally Jane Shaffer and to this union 2 children were born, Georgia and Kenneth.

Survivors include his wife, Sally Jane Collis of Kennett, Missouri; his children, Georgia Skaggs and fiancé, David Miller of Kennett, Missouri and Kenneth Collis of Gideon, Missouri; four grandchildren, Joshua Solomon of Bevier, Missouri, Samantha Campbell of Kennett, Missouri, Jessica Garrison of Gideon, Missouri and Tashia Montgomery of Gideon, Missouri; several great-grandchildren; brothers and sisters, Paul A. Collis and wife, Mary Jo of Queen City, Missouri, Helen Oliver of Queen City, Missouri, Viola Beal of Queen City, Missouri, Ella Ann Guildford and husband, Ralph of Brookfield, Missouri, John Collis and wife, Marge of Brookfield, Missouri, Ann Groseclose and husband, Steve of Lancaster, Missouri, Dennis Lee Collis of Queen City, Missouri and Michael Collis and wife, Amanda of Brookfield, Missouri and other family members.

Joseph is preceded in death by his parents and four brothers, Karol Lee Collis, Troy E. Collis, Junior, Oliver Collis, and Marvin Eugene Collis

Joseph was a member of the Schuyler County Church of Faith in Lancaster, Missouri before moving to Kennett, Missouri.  He was also a member of the Boothill Tractor Club.  While living in the Queen City, Missouri area, he was a grain and livestock farmer.

Funeral services were held on Wednesday, April 18, 2018 at the Schuyler County Church of Faith in Lancaster, Missouri with Sonny Smyser, Pastor of the Schuyler County Church of Faith officiating.  Music was provided by Georgia Skaggs and David Miller, soloists performing special selections of “Amazing Grace”, “Delta Dawn” and “I Saw The Light”.

Pallbearers were Joshua Solomon, David Miller, Nathan Reed, Mike Collis, Paul Collis and Dennis Collis.  Honorary pallbearers were Anthony Campbell and Robert Macomber.

Memorials have been established for Bethel Cemetery.  Online condolences may be expressed to the family by logging on to normanfh.com.

Burial was in the Bethel Cemetery southwest of Glenwood, Missouri.

Arrangements were under the direction of the Norman Funeral Home of Lancaster, Missouri.

BERNICE HELEN (VICKREY) FORRESTER (5/30/1920 – 4/4/2018)

Bernice Helen Forrester, 97, of Tucson, Arizona, formerly of Memphis, Missouri, went to be with our Lord on April 4, 2018.

She was born May 30, 1920 in rural Macon County, Missouri, the daughter of Elmer and Bertha (Harris) Vickrey.

She graduated from Macon High School and attended Chillicothe Business College in Chillicothe, Missouri.

She worked as a secretary in business offices in Macon and Memphis for many years.  She was a member of the Memphis Rebekah Lodge #632 for over 60 years.  She was a member of First Baptist Church in Memphis, Missouri and later a member of El Camino Baptist Church in Tucson, Arizona.

Bernice married Robert L. Forrester on September 17, 1950, at Macon, Missouri.  To this union two daughters were born.

Bernice is survived by her two daughters and sons-in-law, Vickie Babbitt (Richard) of Kernersville, North Carolina, and Beverly Gordon (John) of Oak Ridge, North Carolina; two grandsons and their wives, Christopher Babbitt (Katie) and Shawn Babbitt (Ashley); four great-grandchildren; two step-granddaughters; and nieces and nephews.

She was predeceased by her husband, parents, and one brother.

Bernice loved to spend time with her family.  She enjoyed reading the Bible and poetry, writing letters, cooking, and gardening.

A memorial service will be held at a later date in Memphis. The family suggests memorials be made to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, NC 28201, or a charity of your choice.

Triplett, Campbell Selected for the Missouri Agribusiness Academy

Parker Triplett of Rutledge, and Katie Campbell of Memphis were among the  30 high school sophomores recently selected to participate in the Missouri Department of Agriculture’s Missouri Agribusiness Academy (MAbA). The Scotland County R-I students will spend the first week of June in the St. Louis area learning about many of the unique opportunities available in agriculture.

“We are proud to announce another outstanding MAbA class. Our young people in agriculture, like Parker Triplett, set the bar high and model respect, determination, responsibility and service-values we in the industry strive to instill along with farming traditions,” said Director of Agriculture Chris Chinn. “MAbA empowers students to further develop those leadership skills and use them to enhance the future of Missouri agriculture and our rural communities.”

On Monday, June 4, the MAbA class will convene at the Missouri Department of Agriculture. After a Department overview and tour, the students will travel to St. Louis. During the 2018 Missouri Agribusiness Academy, the students will visit businesses and learn about career opportunities in animal and plant health, communications, forestry, value-added agriculture production and more. The students will end their week with a graduation ceremony at the Missouri State Capitol in Jefferson City.

Since 1988, the Missouri Agribusiness Academy has awarded more than 900 academy memberships through a competitive application and interview process for high school sophomores interested in pursuing agriculture-related college degrees and careers.

To be eligible for the Agribusiness Academy, students must come from a farming family or be an active member of the National FFA Organization or 4-H.

Triplett is a sophomore at Scotland County R-1 High School, where he is an active member of the Memphis FFA Chapter and Gorin Go-Getters 4-H Club. He is the son of Chad and Heidi Triplett.

Campbell is a sophomore at Scotland County R-1 High School, where she is an active member of the Memphis FFA Chapter and Gorin Go-Getters 4-H Club. She is the daughter of Kim and Zac Campbell.

JUDITH SPEERS CRAVENS (10/7/1941-4/4/2018)

Judith Speers Cravens, 76, of Stone Mountain, Georgia passed away peacefully on April 4, 2018.

Judi was born in Chicago, Illinois on October 7, 1941 and was married to Bobby Lee Cravens on November 8, 1959.

Judi was the President of Service By Air, Inc., a company created by both Judi and Bob in 1979. Judi was one of the first female Owner/Operators for several air freight companies working out of the Hartsfield- Jackson International Airport for ten years. In addition, Judi worked as a Home Health Aid in Chicago, Illinois and Atlanta, Georgia. Demonstrating caring and compassion for people as well as animals was a significant focus. Throughout her life she was a devoted wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.

Judi is survived by her children, Tracey Horton (Mack), Debra Herd (Joseph), Christine Thornton (Jason) and Michael Cravens (Kristin) and Patrick S. Cravens; grandchildren Robert B. Horton, Jaimie H. Buccellato (Andrew), Taylor P. Horton, Danielle E. Herd, Matthew J. Herd, Christopher T. Thornton (Katie), Kevin C. Thornton, Layne A. Rumsey (Dylan), Christopher W. Cravens, Nicholas A. Cravens; great-grandchildren Adeline E. Thornton and Jackson W. Thornton.

Judi is preceded in death by husband Bobby Lee Cravens; sister Lynn A. Speers; father James M. Speers; and mother Clara A. Speers.

In lieu of flowers memorial donations may be given to Longleaf Hospice Foundation (www.longleafhospice.com). Judi will join her husband Bobby Lee Cravens at Arlington Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia.

Rutledge Renegades

Reminder: Rutledge Fire Department is having their Chicken Bar-B-Q on Saturday, April 21st at the Rutledge Community Building.  Serving begins at 11:00 a.m.

Martin Guinn and Reva Hustead went to Diner 54 in Kirksville and ate a meal with Jenny and Randy Walker.

Doris Day and Dale Tague had supper with Larry and Tamara Tague at I.D.K’s in Baring.  Chicken was on the menu along with all the fixens. Report: Very Good.

Colony and Rutledge Flea Market was Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.  Rainy day.

Neta Phillips went to Kirksville.

Roger Erickson from Oklahoma was here visiting family and friends.

Jon and Amy Guthrie of Trenton have a new baby girl Lucille (Lucy) Elaine.  She joins James and Nora.  Those visiting over the weekend at Jack and Cindy’s were Eilene and Carol, Cheryl, Lori and John, Nick, Kelli and Reid, and Grandma Elaine Schweizer.  Eilene now has four great-granddaughters and two great-grandsons.

Some of those in this weekend were Tim Morris, Dale Tague, Buck Tague, Neta Phillips, Charlene Montgomery, Bob and Dorothy Hunolt, Martin Guinn, Reva Hustead, Ronnie and Bonnie Young, Doris Day, Larry and Tamara Tague, Victor Chiders, Larry and Deanna Hubbard, Kris Harmelink, Oren and Celina Erickson, Roger Erickson, John Riddle, Lack White, Eldon Klocke, and Leon and Ann Shaw.

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