December 9, 2004

Outdoor Corner

by Chris Feeney

Tis the season for giving, so I thought I would use this weeks Outdoor Corner to offer something to readers for the holidays. Im not any good at wrapping presents and dont think anyone wants to hear me caroling. So instead I thought Id offer my services.

For anyone out there with ground with brushy fence rows, I offer my services to check the property for quail. The same goes for that CRP if you need an investigator to verify the presence of pheasants. After my search and rescue routine Id gladly offer any and all fowl for the hosts holiday feasting.

I must say that, turkey and ham are traditional menu items at this time of year, but nothing beats properly prepared fowl taken over a good hunting dog. Of course I may be a little biased, and then again my wife could make old shoe leather taste scrumptious.

Those of you whose bird populations are lacking, dont feel left out. I want to be fair to all, so Ill be glad to help you get rid of the pesky big buck thats haunting your ground. We dont want any travelers to feel threatened by such a monster, you know there are so many deer/car crashes anymore. Besides hes eating lots of your crops, rubbing down all your little pine trees and throwing his weight around on your fences. I know its tough, but someone has to do it.

Let me tell you, I am dedicated to such projects and will give up my time to search out said deer from the start of the bow season all the way through the new year.

Dont let the seasons ruin this offer. Ill be glad to bestow my services in the spring to help you thin out the turkey populations. Even if the Christmas trees are gone theres always April birthdays, Easter and other holidays that warrant some type of gift giving.

There is only so much of me to go around, but Ill also pledge to assist any pond owner. When the ice comes on this winter, I pledge to bring my fishing gear out to sit on top of your waterway. Not only will I determine if there are any fish in the impoundment, but I can also offer important information on water depth, and structure placements courtesy of my Vexilar sonar. Best of all Ill inform you of which lures work best if you ever want to catch a batch. Of course that is a trial by error on my part. Again the gift just keeps on giving as Ill gladly share the fishing bounty and Ill even clean and fillet your holiday feast for you.

With all of these valuable services being offered Im sure Ill be too busy to shovel snow, mow the yard or any really labor-intensive services that otherwise I might offer. Im sure it will be difficult to get to every farm out there, but Im dedicated and willing to try. Im a firm believer that it is better to give than receive.

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