July 31, 2003
by Chris Feeney
Believe it or not there apparently were no takers on my guest editorial offer? Unfortunately most of the writers in the family were already on the road for the big family wedding up in Michigan before they got their newspaper in the mail. So I'm not 100% sure that no one wanted to take their shot at defaming me, they simply may have been unaware of the offer. Then again I may have performed so well in all of our family sports outings that I left little room for any creative writing. Then again you all know me better than that.
A little background on the whole ordeal - we (basically all of my wife's family) traveled via caravan to Union Pier, Michigan, just off the Great Lakes for the wedding of Kristen Kutzner to Sam Huzar, Jr. Both call the suburbs of Chicago home. Anyway we were at a beach-front inn for three days to enjoy the festivities and share the couple's big day. As you may have realized by now reading past articles, regardless of the reason for the get-together, this group of people can not go long without some type of competition breaking out.
Friday morning was a special wedding party golf tournament so graciously put together by the father of the bride, David Kutzner. This 18-hole extravaganza featured five teams competing for prizes that rivaled the Prices Right Show. I won't go into great detail rubbing it in the faces of the four other teams that had three or even four golfers scrambling against us. I'll simply say that myself and my brother-in-law Rodney, beat the pants off the competition with a near flawless round of golf. Like I said I don't want to toot our horn to loudly but I'm not sure we could have been beaten if Tiger, Ernie, Sergio and Mickelson had given up the Battle of the Bridges and traveled to Indian Lake Golf Course in Eau Claire, MI, to take us on. (That's a reference to four of the best PGA golfers for you non-golf buffs.)
After a rousing day at the beach with the kids we all gathered at the bride and groom's bed and breakfast for a bon fire and visiting. Several of us broke off from the main gathering and headed indoors where the challenge was issued for one of our epic battles in Trivial Pursuit. As we were late comers to the game my trio (me, brother-in-law Brent and his wife Melissa) made up the third team against two formidable foursomes of cousins, friends, college professors and museum overseers. We made such quick work of the opposition that our team was quickly dissembled for round two. It must have been getting pretty late in the night because I don't remember who won the second game.
The final competition (if you don't count the race, I mean drive home) was Saturday afternoon at the beach. A family gathering before the wedding quickly deteriorated into a full-contact game of beach football. We listened to the voice of caution and moved the diving and tackling into the water to hopefully prevent any wedding ending injuries.
It quickly came to my attention that we have a pair of former linebackers in the family and apparently they were hungry as they made a sandwich out of me on the opening pass play of the game. It seems that my concussion prevented me from recalling the final score, or which team I was on for that matter. I just wish I could have forgotten the fact that during the melee that my wedding ring slipped off my finger and was swept away by the waves. If I recover from the second concussion my wife gave me maybe I'll have some more fun to report on next week.