March 13, 2003
by Chris Feeney
I've determined I'm pretty much a boring old coot. Those of you that like to read this column (both of you out there) likely have noticed its absence the past few weeks. I apologize, but quite simply, I haven't done anything sporting for as long as I can remember. February is a rough month for outdoor activities with most of my favorite hunting seasons over. Add in the tricky winter weather that had ice fishing off again, on again, off again, all month long and its no wonder this space has been blank.
Well I haven't been totally sedentary. With Rotary's annual 3-on-3 basketball tournament coming up March 22, I decided maybe I wasn't too old to play one last time. Last year I decided to retire, but last year the spare tire I'm carrying around my waste wasn't quite as large. So after sitting around all winter it was either quit eating or start exercising. I'm not about to quit eating so the later won out. I'm not a big runner and I'm not patient enough to just walk so I have to come up with alternate exercise options. I don't suspect Brenna Cook would allow me in her aerobics class because none of the rest of the crew would get any aerobics in because they would be laughing too hard about my all around lack of coordination.
So with my options fairly slim, I made my first appearance of the season at the Sunday evening basketball outings at the high school. For those of you unfamiliar with the hoops hangout for the elderly, many of us former basketball players get together on Sunday evenings for a little roundball action. Some nights in more resembles all-star wrestling than the NBA but we get in some good exercise. Besides what else could a person do for a buck? We all chip in $1 to help pay the light bill.
With the big tournament still a few weeks away, I already had a couple nights under my belt. The first was the toughest of course. Well that's not 100-percent accurate - really the next two days after the first night were the toughest. I was so sore I could hardly work, and all I do at work is sit in my chair and type on the computer, so that should tell you how bad of shape I really was in. The next Sunday went a lot better. I was only disable about half the day on Monday, so my recovery time was improving.
But then it happened. For whatever reason, the afternoon before my third workout for the tournament, it occurred to me that the 3-on-3 event happens to fall on March 22, the same day of my wife's birthday. And if that wasn't a big enough shock, I remembered something else too, that I had promised her a weekend getaway to celebrate the big 3-0. So the tournament is out. I guess that's not a good reason to stop exercising on Sunday night, but sure enough I wasn't able to get motivated enough to head to the gym. Unfortunately that means fi I get back out there again before summer, that I'll be right back in the same boat. I think I'll Christen that ship the Titantic, because this old body surely will sink to the bottom if I make it go through all that pain and agony that follows the first night of hoops. Then again, spare tires float, so I have my own built in personal flotation device and won't have to worry about sinking. It's what you call a quandary. I'm out of shape because I don't exercise, yet I can't exercise because I'm too out of shape. Or at least that's what I tell myself when I'm sitting on the couch on Sunday evening instead of out there playing hoops.